Here's a story.... about me.... about who I am....
I wrote it a few years ago and it's the story my blog is named after....
Quite awhile ago when I was the young single mother of my oldest I asked God for something... It wasn't money, a better job, or even a good man.
It was a dark time in my life. I was just coming to terms that I was going to have to be a single mother and I had to move back to my hometown, take a job at McDonald's for minimum wage, use foodstamps, and swallow my pride. I ran from this town... I didn't want to be there... growing up there was a small piece of hell I'd have rather forgotten. And then I found myself back in that town where I was never quite good enough, the ugly-duckling, not smart, not talented, and unliked, working a dead-end job, bogged down with the left over baby fat.
It was one rainy morning. I don't remember the season, I just remember the rain. I was feeling incredibly sorry for myself, unloved and unimportant. I just wanted to know, to be sure, to understand that God was listening, that He cared about me... So I asked him to show me a rainbow that day... I looked out at the rain and decided that God sent a rainbow before to Noah as a promise and I just wanted to know that He was there and real and He could send a rainbow to me... BTW I wasn't questioning the existence of God or His love... I just needed a sign that he was hearing me.
I went to work and it rained, I picked up my son and it continued to rain. I went home and watched out my window as it rained all evening... as the sun set I felt the tears well up and run down my face... my heart was tearing and I felt so forgotten... it didn't work, He didn't hear me. "Maybe there's something wrong with me," I thought as I turned the small TV I had that picked up 3 channels... for some reason it was on the public broadcasting station which I rarely watched... I almost switched the channel without thinking and then I hear the song... the theme song to Reading Rainbow... it was just starting with the image of a book opening and a rainbow flowing from it... Reading Rainbow
WOW... I was looking outside for a rainbow all day long... I was waiting for God to do it my way but in the quiet of my home He blessed me His way... I still don't know how the channel was set but I know why...
Hi Melinda you made me cry to read this. I know you were not looking for sympathy, just recognition of how you felt, and I understand.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you found your rainbow. I believe everything we do leads to something else. How often have you done some thing or not done something for a reason and something else turns up that would not have if you hadn't been right there at that spot because you did or did not do something else that brought you there.
I believe the Universe is looking after us all.
If that is God well I believe that too.
See we have even met thru Cindy's site. I feel
Lucky to be your first follower. I started off with 1 and never thought where I would be today with followers and what I have done on my blog.
Go there if you like and read some of the Older Posts,if you would like to.
See you in Cindy's and keep up your lovely work.
love
XXX E.
Hi Melinda,
ReplyDeleteYou made me cry too, as I know what it's like to feel the way you described. I also know how God will show us the sign we ask for in a way we're not expecting it, and isn't it awesome to know He cares?! I believe too, as Elizabeth says, that everything happens for a reason, and we all are blessed to have become part of each others lives through Cindy's site.
You have an amazing talent. Keep up the great work!
Tanya
Thank you for sharing this--it was the very topic of the sermon our priest gave at Mass this past week. I guess God decided I needed a second reminder of how He does things, LOL.
ReplyDelete